Making Amends: Repair the Damage from Addiction

Instead, we lay the cards on the table and allow the other party to read them as they will. If they forgive us, then we approach them with gratitude. We make sure they understand our willingness to do whatever it takes to set things right. But if they meet us with anger and order us to leave, we still thank them for their time. Nonetheless, we must attempt to make amends to every single person on our Step Eight list.

• Many alcoholics in early sobriety struggle with how to make direct amends for certain offenses against others.
• The guilt for your wrongdoings will eventually dissipate and by making an apology and amends, you will be able to let go and live.
• After acknowledging how actions tied to their addictions had a negative impact on people in their lives, those in 12-step recovery programs commit to making direct amends whenever possible.
• However, even if you feel extremely motivated to make direct amends, it is advisable to take your time with this step.

Having a sponsor helps with the ninth step, as sponsors work side-by-side with recovering alcoholics and help determine how to handle making amends. Many sponsors bring an awareness of why individuals are motivated to express amends and can question the beneficial purpose of sharing such information from the past. Perhaps, the amends that you wanted to make might not seem right after discussing with a sponsor. Living amends is a concept linked to addiction recovery and part of the twelve-step program for sober living. In simple terms, it means taking responsibility for the person you used to be and how you caused harm to the people in your life who care about you.

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We come to understand that we are good people with a bad disease. Steps 8 and 9 help us to move out of the shame we have lived in, shame that feeds the cycle of substance use and addiction. We strengthen and reinforce healthy recovery whenever we do our part to repair relationships or reach out to others with support and understanding. Step Nine can leave you emotionally exhausted; it’s a difficult step to navigate. But the rewards you’ll reap from living amends can help make the challenges easier and more productive.

At the end of the day, we must satisfy ourselves with the knowledge that we did our very best. And if we cannot say that we did our best, then https://ecosoberhouse.com/ perhaps we must make another attempt. This decision lies solely in the hands of those to whom we now present ourselves with utmost sincerity.

How Will Making Amends Help My Recovery?

At Boardwalk Recovery Center, we support clients through the steps and encourage them to make amends when appropriate to restore their relationships and sense of morality. For every time you said you’d be there or that you’d help someone do something and didn’t show up, you’ve left an impression upon that person that they can’t rely on you to keep your word. You can start living amends making amends by showing up, even if it’s years later, to do the things you said you’d do. These promises are often the most difficult to keep because addiction plays a decisive role in a person’s ability to live up to their promises. Their parent may feel more pain for their addicted child’s inability to get sober than the material items lost due to the thefts.